crucible of ennui

such sweet slumber to be surrounded thus, bliss indeed.
jc
12/13/11

Kitten was in the holiday parade!! This was our third year walking with our Girl Scout Troop. Last year and this year the girls decided to do a rag doll group theme.

This was last year.

The girls decided to go with the rag dolls again this year. Yay the dress still fits and yay we found the socks and y… crud. The yarn wig was thrashed from a year of Pippi Longstocking summertime adventures. Okay. Problem solved. Rag scrunchies.

Before I found the red and white striped t-shirt (oops, sorry mother in law), I was going to use a bunch of old kid t-shirts I had in the recycle mats bin. I was thinking a multicolored bunch of swing-y tufts at first, but then I found the stripes. Just sitting there in the garage, with a mustard stain. I’m sure she was going to throw it out anyways.

The first few strips I cut were parallel to the stripes. Bad idea. Unless you want BACON HEAD!!!

“Why does that child have bacon attached to her head?”

Recut the rest of the strips the correct and lucked out that the strips rolled into tubes and looked like candy canes. NOTE: If you don’t want tubes, cut the fabric perpendicular to the way you were cutting to get it to curl Easy peasy lemon squeeze-y.

Grabbed a covered elastic band and started tying strips on, simple knots. I had 20 strips per band.

Tah Dah!!!

I pulled her hair up into two high pigtails and then braided, then wound the braids into buns. Wrapped the rag covered rubber bands around the braid buns.

I think she likes them.

I am usually a very flippant and silly kind of person. I like to be flippant and silly. But I’m going to be pretty serious right now when I share what I personally saw this weekend at my church this past Sunday here in Granada Hills at the 10:30 am mass.

Services ran completely normal until Father started his homily. At that point I observed a man walk conspicuously down the middle aisle of the church carrying a large duffel bag and a smaller, soft sided parcel sitting on top of the duffel through the loops. (Keep in mind this is during the priest’s sermon.) The man walked to the front of the pews and sat in the pew 3rd from the front opposite the aisle where I was sitting. He placed the duffel bag on the pew seat closest to the aisle and then slid 5 feet over away from the bags. Throughout the sermon the man lounged in the pew, laughed at inappropriate times (although softly), mouthing things to himself (lips easily enough read…things like: “WTF?”) during the remainder of the priest’s homily. He did not stand during the reading of the Gospel or during the Lord’s Prayer the way a Catholic would. His attention was never focused on the front of the church, rather around him – taking in exits, counting heads, looking at everyone. At some point I thought he was maybe mentally ill as I saw him speaking to someone who wasn’t there. Just after the offering prayers, the man got up, walked back down the center aisle of the church towards the rear, leaving his duffel bags behind. As soon as I saw that, I left the church and services and ran over to the main office to let them know about the unattended duffels bags. The church lady (*snicker*) asked me to go to the back of the church and tell the ushers. When I got back I saw that the man was back near the pew with 3-4 ushers surrounding him. When I told the ushers at the back what I had seen, I was told that others had observed a second man get up and leave the church, getting into an orange-colored van before leaving the parking lot in it. I never even saw the 2nd man. Apparently they had arrived together, but sat separately in the church. At this time, MANY people were freaked out enough to get up and leave before communion. The man I was watching was a tall, dark-skinned African American; baggy plaid shorts and a black D&G shirt. Sneakers. He kept touching his hair and eye brows and hands. Clean shaven. I did not see the other man, but heard reports that he looked and dressed similar the man I saw. Okay. That’s what I saw yesterday.

I’m a pretty easy going kinda person. I hate drama. This felt so bad and uncomfortable. You could feel something wrong. I keep thinking what if’s and wondering what the hell was going on. My main reason for sharing this information is knowledge. The facts are the facts. I tried not to inject any personal fear I was experiencing at the time with what I’ve shared (and believe me – I was freaked out).

Just be safe. Be aware of what’s going on around you. Treat your lives preciously.

Happy Autumn.

xo, j.

My autumn starts slowly, creeping around the edges of perception; a notable crispness of detail against a haze of ending summer. It’s a promise of rest after the false start of giddy spring and that last burn of summer has shed. Fall is a new layer of skin; an earned armor. I’m wiser and protective of my blessings, closer still to the truth of me.

How many mothers do you have? I think I’m up to 7 at this point in my life. My two foster moms, one adopted mom, 3 friend moms and finally, one reunited birth mom. I am so lucky and blessed to have lived this fabulous life.

Thank you unknown russian family for not adopting me – I don’t know who you are or why you gave me back to the city of Los Angeles, but I’m thankful you did as I hate borscht.

Thank you Aunt Shirley – BEST FOSTER MOTHER IN THE WORLD!! Thank you for always staying in touch and treating me like a daughter even after I was adopted. Girl – you’re like 90 and still rockin around the Valley.

Mom – I miss you. Please watch over me and help me not to mess things up too much.

Beth – Thank you for opening up your home and life. You taught me how to cook, how to shop and oodles of other inappropriate topics anyone is free to ask me about offline.

Christina – my voice of conservative reason. You may be a peer, but I give weight to your opinions. You have no idea how many times I call you to run things through that amazingly succienct mind and heart of yours.

Flavia – I think of all my surrogate moms, you may be my most favorite. Gorgeous, sassy and fabulously witty… Yeah. I want to be Flavia.

And finally Laurie – when mom passed away, I took the chance to contact my birth mom. And Laurie is everything I wanted to find. Everyday we work and build and learn about each other. The most amazing gift of all – her friendship. Thank you Laurie for setting me on this fantastic journey!

I’m a mom now. I LOVE my babygirl. I count my blessings in her and my life every morning and night.

Love your Mom. You mean the world to her.
Wade in the Water
Laurie, my mom, piano
Kira, cousin, guitar

Miss you Mom
Diane Napolitano
1944-1998

One part fresh squeezed orange juice
One part pineapple juice
One part peach juice
Shake with ice and strain into chilled glass.
If you’re over 21, I recommend an additional part of rum. I like rum.

edit: I forgot that the drinking age was 21… not 13.

text message from BFF: Happy Easter!! Don’t eat any bunnies.

Thanks Beth… thanks for that friendly, but tragic reminder.

_GC33592

Originally uploaded by Glenn Calvin

“My daddy pulled it out of my face!”

Thank sweet baby jesus Cat went back to school today.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so lucky to be able to hang with my babygirl. She is so freaky cool – she has a llama named Schnitzel and speaks her own language. We we play games, she always gets to be the princess and I get to be the evil queen with nasty intent (woohoo!!). I get to do all kinds of fun things I never got to do as a kid – Shrinky Dinks, Sea Monkeys, and MouseTrap. Wow. We colored, played video games, watched all kinds of movies and cartoons, jumped rope, and on and on and on.

I think she was starting to get fed up with me. She shouted “HOORAY” Friday night when I reminded her she was back to school in a few days. Hooray indeed.

Enough with the bitching, here’s a cookie recipe.

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups finely chopped pecans or walnuts
1/4 cup sugar
1 butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla

Powdered sugar

Heat oven to 325°F. Throw it all into your mixer EXCEPT the powdered sugar. Beat at low speed, scrape that bowl, mixity-mix.

Here’s the key to these – they have to be bite-sized. NO BIGGER THAN 2 SMALL BITES! Why? Because these are so f’n light and crispy, they crumble under the slightest pressure. So – get an appropriate sized amount of dough and roll into a ball. Place 1 inch apart onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 18 to 25 minutes or until very lightly browned.

Cool 5 minutes; roll in powdered sugar while still warm. THEN LET THEM COOL COMPLETELY!!! and roll them again in more powdered sugar.

Each batch makes 60ish cookies. I had to make 5 batches of these for Christmas this year. They go that fast. Quick make them now!

How funny is this? Now that I’m not working, I’m busier than ever.

This week is the last I have before Cat gets out for Christmas vacation.

The plan? Cookies. Lots and lots of cookies.