crucible of ennui

Catherine is finally at that magical age where the most socially inappropriate things come out of her mouth. Most of the time she is very considerate of other people and refrains from calling people ugly or silly-looking (unlike her mother).
This self-censoring ceases to exist while in the presence of little people.
At the grocery store where [...]

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Last night Catherine & I went to hear my niece’s choir sing Christmas songs at a local church complex. Cat did okay, but it was hard for her to keep still towards the end of the performance.
It was pretty much over for us when the pastor guy was doing his end of festivities prayer and [...]

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This weekend was busier than usual. 
Usual regularly being ignoring everything outside of the 4 walls of my home. 
Glenn and I headed to the office party on Friday evening. It ended up being a lot of fun. It was at Romanov’s. There was lots of food and lots of friends. We ended up leaving early and heading to see Beowulf in 3D on [...]

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listening to Catherine read Where the Wild Things Are to her dolls.

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Catherine has learned how to say, “Ma ma.” Of course, it’s the coolest thing ever.
The best is when she’s excited and happy, she’ll clap her hands together and laugh.
Sure… just melt my freakin’ heart, why doncha ya?
Of course when Peggy came over to drop off Girl Scout Cookies (mmmm GS Cookies), I couldn’t get her [...]

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I’m not sure exactly what I want to say about Jenna. Anger, sorrow and confusion have been the emotions coloring my perception of the world this past week.
I catch myself calling Catherine, “Jenna.” I will look straight at Cat and know that it’s my daughter and still say, “Jenna.”
I think of all the plans we [...]

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I’ll be out probably until next week. It’s going to be a looooooong weekend.
Friday is the viewing.
Saturday is graveside services.
Sunday is memorial services.
I keep thinking how tired I am. And then I think how tired I’ll be after this weekend.
And then I feel guilty because it doesn’t matter how I feel.

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The preliminary medical examiner’s report states the cause of death was a viral infection that attacked her heart and caused a heart attack. The viral infection was probably influenza.
No one could have done anything.

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My niece Jenna died this weekend. She was 7 years old, brilliant, stunningly beautiful and one of the reasons I wanted to have my own children.
We’re still waiting to find out what happened. They were on the way to the emergency room when she collapsed and stopped breathing. The paramedics couldn’t do anything even though [...]

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I decided against posting all the nasty details of Catherine’s last cold. And it was nasty. At one point she had a sinus infection, chest cold, sore throat, fever AND an ear infection. The amount of snot this child can produce is mind blowing. It got to the point where if she even saw the [...]

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