crucible of ennui

It’s two of my most favorite topics in the world. Zombies and World of Warcraft.

Catherine has learned how to say, “Ma ma.” Of course, it’s the coolest thing ever.

The best is when she’s excited and happy, she’ll clap her hands together and laugh.

Sure… just melt my freakin’ heart, why doncha ya?

Of course when Peggy came over to drop off Girl Scout Cookies (mmmm GS Cookies), I couldn’t get her to do ONE. SINGLE. THING.

Performing monkey, my ass.

I just haven’t been myself lately.
I think about Jenna all the time.
I just don’t know what to do with myself.
I’m having a hard time being motivated to do anything.

whatever was on my hands must have been jalapeno juice, since my eyes are my BURNING.

BURNING.
pain of hellfire in my eyes.

I’m going to get mexican at lunch.

I’m not sure exactly what I want to say about Jenna. Anger, sorrow and confusion have been the emotions coloring my perception of the world this past week.

I catch myself calling Catherine, “Jenna.” I will look straight at Cat and know that it’s my daughter and still say, “Jenna.”

I think of all the plans we had this year – the beach, the Getty, picnics, the poppies this spring. And Catherine’s first birthday.

Jenna, 1997 – 2005