crucible of ennui

This year has been exciting and at the same time comforting. We all start to wax nostalgic this time of year, and I am no different.

More and more time passes by so quickly. I look around and I try to realize my place in a grand scheme of life. It’s hard for me to do, as I feel like I am contantly changing, evolving. The facets to my life increase everyday – mother, worker, wife, wanna-be entrepeneaur, woman, American, intellectual. Each new challenge affords me the opportunity to alter my life in some way. I try to keep my mind open, not hold hard and fast to previous conceptions of people, events and theories. The world changes too fast to set down a truth in concrete and refuse to accept a new view.

Not sure what I’m going to do about work. Atmosphere is bleak. Layoffs every month. I just can’t seem to get ahead – even though I’ve logged over 5 years at the company. I know that I shouldn’t complain, as I’m very fortunate to have a job. But everytime there’s another layoff, more of my friends disappear. We went from a company of 800 employees to around 300 at corporate (and I’m being generous with 300). The last layoff, my friend S. danced, and I literally mean DANCED out of the building with her severage package. That’s pretty depressing.

So now I just need to sit back and see if anything bites.
Other than my job.
Which bites my ass.

Margarine
Deli Slices o’ cheese
cereal
Doritos!
pickles

I think this is left over from my pregnancy days.